i win some!

view from my dentist's parking structure - pretty, huh?


Wow, LJ - thanks for all the notifications about my past RP accounts! I forgot about... pretty much all of those. I played Zaphod from H2G2 once! He was a cool guy.

Memories. (I guess?)

I'm so hungry. I really should've eaten more earlier, I guess - but I had three root canals today! Yes, three all at once. Costing me shitloads of money! My stupid, broken teeth. I've been trying to fix them, and I fixed my car; except not because the brakes still fucking squeak. Except now they don't squeak when you press the brakes. They squeak when you take your foot off of them.

Thanks for reversing the problem, Pep Boys. I guess that's some sort of magic you have there.

My book... has officially started. :D! )
LISTEN UUUUUUUUUUP
Originally posted by [personal profile] de_nugis at To UK Flisties
(Taken most recently from [profile] amber1960, slightly adapted.)

If you're from the UK and you believe in freedom of speech and an uncensored interenet, you really need to sign this petition. There are others floating about, but that particular one is the best way to ensure that your voice gets heard. It's hosted on the directgov website and addresses parliament directly. If it gets more than 100,000 signatures, it becomes eligible for discussion in the House of Commons.

Everyone's been getting so worked up over SOPA -- and rightly so -- that ACTA seems to have slipped under the radar. This is hugely problematic, because ACTA is a similar bill, but it has the potential to be far more damaging than SOPA ever could be.

Some people seem to have this misconception that ACTA is the 'European SOPA', but that simply isn't true. It's a global treaty, and it's already been signed by eight countries, including the US, Japan, New Zealand and Singapore. Europe votes on Thursday. If they vote 'no', the bill will have to be taken back to the drawing board and reformulated, which should buy us some time at the very least.

If you think this doesn't affect you, you're wrong. If ACTA passes, it could well signal the end of the internet as we know it, and that isn't an exaggeration. It's not just about watching movies and television online. If ACTA passes, sites like YouTube, Livejournal, Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook and even Google and Wikipedia could become impossible to maintain. ACTA would allow ISPs to monitor your net activity and cut off internet access for your entire household if one person is suspected of breaching copyright. Think Big Brother is Watching. I don't think I need to emphasise just how damaging it can be to be without internet access in this day and age, when we rely so heavily on technology.

It's not only bloggers and fandom that would be affected, either. Small businesses, independent film-makers and unsigned musicians who have previously found their niche online would also suffer hugely, and would be at risk of being bullied into submission by Hollywood and multinational corporations under accusations of copyright infringement. All those artists who found fame by uploading covers of songs to YouTube would never have had the opportunity to do so under ACTA, as those cover versions would be prohibited.

I know the internet has its problems, but to my mind it's the single greatest invention to come out of modern times, and it would be an absolute travesty if we were to lose that now. From a personal point of view, I can't even put into words how important this is to me. I've met some of my closest friends through the internet and online fandom, people whom I would likely never have met without it, and it's given me this amazing social support system. I don't want that to end here, and I want to preserve it for future generations so that they can have the same experience and opportunities I've been given through my online interactions.

I know that opinions on the seriousness of copyright infringement and online piracy vary wildly, but that isn't really the point. Internet giants such as Google are opposed to this bill, and it's pretty safe to say that they're not in favour of copyright infringment, as anyone who's ever had a fanvid taken down from YouTube will be painfully aware. Whatever your stance on copyright, this isn't the way to go about dealing with it. This is dangerous legislation that impeaches on some of our most basic human rights, such as the right to privacy and freedom of speech.

So if you're from the UK, please, please sign the petition. If you hail from elsewhere in the world, there may well be similar movements in your own country, but I think the most effective thing anybody can do right now is to keep talking about this. Talk about it on Livejournal, on Twitter, on Tumblr, on Facebook, and anywhere else you can think of. Make sure this issue is never far from people's minds. The internet is an amazingly powerful tool: let's utilise it while we still have the chance.

Please repost and spread the word :)

SAY NO TO ACTA!

Please consider reposting this, especially if you have a large proportion of UK flisties. And please consider spreading the word via other platforms: Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, your own personal network.

booooooooring.
I have an obsession with being cool - wanting to be cool. I want to be like the people I see/hear/read/smell(?). There is just that sexy, calm, real part to them that has me go, "Augh, that! I wish I was like that... (,,゚Д゚)."

Sometimes in my morning pages, I've felt like: "Oh, this is a cool person here!" Not all of the time, though. And something in me hasn't want to make anything, really. I don't know what that resistance has been. I've kept poking at it! To no visible avail so far (for my answers I desire to have about myself and my mental workings).

I think that in real life, I seem to be charismatic enough when I allow for another person to really know me. (I just mean that sometimes I've been guarded.) But inside my head it's been so overly-loud with doubt! So I don't even notice myself in those moments, I don't think.

Well, I talk a lot here about the things I think. I guess I find them more interesting than the other stuff I'm doing or have done. (Three root canals scheduled for next week, hey! That will bump up the number of crowns in my mouth from six to nine. Let that jealousy within you burn....)

Extrapolation on coolness as defined by me, for... me. )

I still want to be cool. I want a divine sort of interest, maybe. That sashaying through life without looking stupid (haha!) or something like it. (I don't actually like sashaying, but it was the first word to come to mind.)

Here's to being cool?

So that one day, Satou Takeru and I can and will be in the same league:



(●´▽`●)_旦"☆"旦_(○´ー`○)カンパイ
you are made of cooties.
I want to smile. I want my heart to burst.
2011.10.07


Ha. I don't even know how to start this entry.

I've been reading my morning pages from the first half of October. I guess in one way, it's remarkable that I write 3+ pages a day - sometimes of nothing at all, importance-wise. But I don't think words have ever been really that hard for me. It's the reasons not to say them that have sometimes broken parts of my heart.

But I wrote in my pages that I like updating about my life, so here I be. I wanted to blog about my Vegas trip but that's going to take a while to move my pictures and crop and blah, blah... so maybe that'll go on this weekend instead of tonight or tomorrow. (Besides, I have my dentist cleaning tomorrow so that will be fun in itself! Likely won't want to write after. Maybe.)

I wonder a lot of things, consistently. The thing that's maybe been hardest for me to come to terms with now is that for all that I've said, my value of what I label "safety" is fucking sky-high above anything and everything else I could conceivably want. I shit you nothing.

It's not even at the "I was ~molested~" stage anymore. I'm just... well, have been afraid of my feelings. It's not even that bad things will happen that I've feared. I really just don't want to feel the way I already have felt.

I don't think 'ruination' is a real word... oh, well. )
i feel suddenly weird and uncomfortable.
Japan has officially ruined me.

I used to have standards, and things I wouldn't tolerate. When I first saw the term, "indirect kiss" in an anime, I thought, "... Wow, that's reaching a little, isn't it?" And now, somehow, I think it's a cute idea - to like someone so much that even drinking from the same can is exciting.

Meanwhile, in America, people are fucking after not even more than a "hi" sometimes....

Maybe I like to think that there are people other than me who do not need to move so damn fast all the time. Really, I'm glad I wasn't born in the younger (de)generation because holy hell, I would have missed out on knowing what not being around a computer was like.

It's fine that internet exists. But I think we've really pretty much been de-sensitised to our own humanity through it; and that's uncomfortable, to me. "lol i can has feelings..."

Ugh.

Some other thoughts I didn't intend, but here they are anyway... )

Tomorrow I'm headed to Vegas with my dad! I haven't been there since 2001, I think. Ha, time just keeps passing and soon I'll be forty....

Despite the bleak tone above, I was actually pretty happy before this post! I do love all that Japan has brought to my life - through anime and somewhat poorly-acted jdramas and music and rap and things. Tokusatsu also, even.

Really, I've forgotten why I wanted to update. I think I'm just waiting for me to get started on my real writing. And I hope this trip over the next two days serves to brighten me up and treats me nicely. Maybe my soul really needs to do something new already.

I hope I start to expand and create. I guess what I'm feeling now is a little like having too much power and not knowing what to do with it yet. "Can I really deliver all the things I have in my mind...?" is what I've been thinking. "Can I really make them live?"

I think I can but I've never known myself to be that way. It's a little like life has said, "You can have your dream now," and I'm just looking at it shine in my hands and going, "... Oh. I wasn't expecting this." Like getting the present you actually want from your grandmother when all she's given you before are socks*.

I thought I was going to have a life of suffering. And I did have a life of suffering! And now, after clearing out some stuff and getting rid of mechanisms that kept me feeling safe, now I have a dream. Maybe not Martin Luther King, Jr.-type stuff, but a dream all the same.

「出来るかな...?」**

I've talked a lot. I've done a lot. I've cried even more than those two previous things.

And now... can I have what I want? (Obama, this is your cue...)

YES, I CAN.


God. How nerve-wracking. I am likely going to pretend to myself that I forgot I said any of this. Ha!

To bed, to bed.


*This is assuming you're not keen on socks, which I am not in particular.
**Can I do it... ?

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